“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust…”
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5a
Ask the average Christian young person to describe what God wants them to know about sex, and you’ll probably hear something like this:
“Thou shalt not have it.”
For far too many years, sex remained categorized as one of the taboo topics given little air time in the church. Armed with little more than the knowledge that God intended for sex to be saved until the wedding day, many Christian men and women have entered marriage with little biblical understanding of why God created sex in the first place. Well, apart from making babies, that is. Most people can wrap their minds around that particular concept.
In her chapter on the wise woman’s sexual conduct, author Mary Kassian highlights the Christian tendency to be “far too easily pleased” when it comes to grasping the importance of God’s design for human sexuality:
Most Christian discussions about sex and sexuality put the emphasis in the wrong place. They spend a whole lot of time focusing on what constitutes improper sexual conduct. They draw lines and boundaries that delineate pure from impure behavior. It seems to me that coming up with a list of “don’ts” somewhat misses the point. It tackles the issue from the wrong side. We can’t hope to know which behaviors we should avoid until we understand the reason that we ought to avoid them. What’s more, this approach lopsidedly focuses on behaviors to avoid, rather than attitudes and behaviors to cultivate. It can result in a pharisaical sense that we’re getting our sexuality right, when in fact, we’re getting it very wrong. Many married Christian women are guilty of wrongful sexual conduct, even though they may not technically be transgressing a specific biblical boundary. For example, a woman who is frigid toward her husband dishonors God’s pattern for sexuality as much as the one who commits adultery does. A married woman who uses sex to punish her husband is as wrong in her thinking about sex as an unmarried woman who hooks up with a guy just for the thrill of a fleeting night of pleasure.
The Bible’s principles for sexual conduct take the issue of sex a lot further than a written list of dos and don’ts. They emanate from the heart of God. He wants us to cherish and value our sexuality as much as He does…He wants us to live in such a way that our sexuality puts His glory on display.
(Girls Gone Wise, p. 137)
Photo: Andrew C.