Beauty Supplements

Your daily dose of true beauty advice…

For many of us, love is a major motivation for dressing the way we do. We want someone to love us, notice us and think we’re special, thinking our attire is the perfect “subtle” way to get that person’s attention…But self-love can be one of the most dangerous motivations for us to wear the kinds of clothes we want to wear because it exalts self and puts us on the throne, calling the shots.

For others of us, however, love for the world is what drives us to dress a certain way. The latest fashions. The hippest trends…We are the women who are LOVING OUR WORLD, and it’s all the motivation we need; we are going to dress like it even if we’re clearly commanded to not love the world (1 John 2:15- 17). It’s just fashion! What’s the harm in that?

For a small number of us, our motivation lies deeper than a simplistic love for self or the world. No, we dress to find a certain power – feministic at its core. By dressing provocatively, we find we have power over guys, power over situations, and power over ourselves…The way we dress is powerful. Proverbs 7 describes this woman to a tee. She comes out “dressed like a prostitute” for the sole purpose of luring the man into her trap, to control him…

Ladies, guys are visual. They are stimulated by the things they see. The clothes you wear, and the way you wear them sends a visual message to a guy whether or not you mean it. In Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8, Paul talks about going to great effort to help a brother not stumble in his walk with the Lord. As women, we can help them by how we’re dressing. When we dress in an alluring way, causing them to stumble in their thoughts and actions, we are the ones that are wrong. It begins with us. While their sin is ultimately because of their own choices, we don’t help them by dressing in a way that makes it more difficult to stand against temptation.

• Am I loving my brothers with how I am dressing today?

Galatians 5:19 gives a list of characteristics that describe those who live according to the flesh; among them are impurity and sensuality.

Galatians 5:22 gives the opposing list: the fruit of the Spirit; among them are kindness and goodness. The question to ask ourselves is: Is what I’m wearing kind and good towards my brother in Christ, or is it impure and sensual? Am I loving my brother with the clothes I am wearing?

~Sarah Bubar in “Love and Modesty

Photo: OBMonkey

Beauty Supplements

Your daily dose of true beauty advice…

Scripture says that the older women should teach the young women to be effective home managers and to love their husbands and children (Titus 2:3-5). As with all other aspects of biblical womanhood, it is the mother’s job to teach and the daughter’s job to learn.

Mom, this is where you come in. I want to take a short intermission from our conversation with your daughter and speak with you for a moment. For the job of preparing our daughters to be homemakers—as we see from Titus 2:3-5—has been assigned to us as moms. And what an exciting task this is! We have the privilege of training our daughters to do what we love to do best—to be homemakers and world-changers for the gospel.

Mothers, we must begin by recognizing the full-time nature of our training. Remember Deut 6:7: “[You] shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” We must incorporate domestic training into the fabric of our daily lives. We must seize every opportunity to prepare our daughters for their mission.

We should speak often to them about the joys of being a wife, mother, and homemaker. Because when you hang around someone who is enthusiastic about her career, it rubs off on you. So let’s spread some homemaking enthusiasm to our daughters. But we must also advise them regarding the realities of homemaking. Many girls enter marriage and motherhood without a clue as to what’s required, and they quickly fall into despair. We must tell our daughters of the sacrifices that homemaking demands—but also of the unsurpassed rewards it offers.

~Carolyn Mahaney in “Homemaking Internship

Photo: OBMonkey

Beauty Supplements

Your daily dose of true beauty advice…

To me, a lady is not frilly, flouncy, flippant, frivolous and fluff-brained, but she is gentle. She is gracious. She is godly and she is giving…

You and I, if we are women, have the gift of femininity. Very often it is obscured, just as the image of God is obscured in all of us…

I find myself in the sometimes quite uncomfortable position of having to belabor the obvious, and hold up examples of femininity to women who almost feel apologetic for being feminine or being womanly. I would remind you that femininity is not a curse. It is not even a triviality. It is a gift, a divine gift, to be accepted with both hands, and to thank God for. Because remember, it was His idea…

God’s gifts are masculinity and femininity within the human race and there was never meant to be any competition between them. The Russian philosopher Bergiath made this statement: “The idea of woman’s emancipation is based upon a profound enmity between the sexes, upon envy and imitation.”

The more womanly we are, the more manly men will be, and the more God is glorified. As I say to you women, “Be women. Be only women. Be real women in obedience to God.”

Elisabeth Elliot in “The Gift of Femininity” as quoted in “Portraying Christian Femininity” by Pat Ennis

Photo: OBMonkey

Men, Women, & Words

I don’t imagine that too many of us are unaware of the frustrations caused by male/female communication differences. Although we’re quite familiar with how these differences affect marriages and dating relationships, we probably don’t recognize as quickly how different conversational styles can sometimes contribute to conflict within the church.

In her article, “Communication between Men and Women in the Context of the Christian Community,” Rhonda H. Kelley discusses gender communication differences and provides a few tips on how Christian men and women can learn to communicate more effectively with one another… 

  • Become aware of your own communication style. Each person has a unique style of communication. Listen to your own speech. Evaluate your words, your tone of voice, and your body language. Compare your own communication style with that of individuals whom you judge to be effective communicators. Self-evaluation is an important first step in improving gender communication…
  • Understand the communication style of the opposite sex. You may be unfamiliar with the unique communication style of the other gender. Listen carefully to the opposite sex around you–your spouse, your child, your parent, and your friends. Make observations in their conversation. What do they say? How do they say it? When do they speak? Why do they speak? Discuss these conversational differences at an appropriate time, not when conflict arises. Try to determine if your perceptions are accurate. Then you are ready to make some changes in order to communicate more effectively with the opposite sex.

Bill Smith, the minister of education at a growing church, began to notice that the only lady on the finance committee never made a comment during the meetings. However, before and after the meetings, she talked freely with members about the committee’s work. In fact, she had some unique perspectives and some good ideas. Bro. Smith decided to discuss his observations with her. She agreed that she was much more comfortable talking in private than in public. After some discussion, Bro. Smith encouraged her to share her thoughts with the committee. His understanding of her hesitancy to speak in front of the group led to improved communication among all members of the committee.

  • Adjust to those conversational styles. You may think it is impossible to change the way you communicate since you have been talking that way for years. Remember that communication is a learned behavior and behavior can be modified! If you tend to lecture or “report-talk”, maybe you should work on better listening and discussing feelings not just facts. If you tend to speak in vague generalities, maybe you should work on more detail and specific information in your conversation. If your indirect body language is confusing your verbal message, maybe you should consciously work on gestures that clarify and confirm your words. Both men and women should work on improving their communication…
  • Alter your conversational style to fit the context. Effective communication is adapted appropriately to fit the setting. Some comments are best made in private while others can be shared in public. Some statements are appropriate for a group at church while others should be made to your best friend.

Mary Jones always had something to say in her couples Sunday School class. Whatever the topic, she always had a comment. She rarely answered a question, but typically expressed her opinion. One Sunday morning she noticed her classmates rolled their eyes as she raised her hand. Several members looked at each other and smiled. She realized that she was talking too much in Sunday School. The next Sunday Mary decided that she could only make one comment during class. She carefully evaluated her thoughts before talking and adapted her style of communication.

  • Don’t assume that the opposite sex understands your message. Just because the message is clear to you does not mean that it is clear to the listener. In fact, one of the biggest mistakes in communication is assumption. It is always best to explain the message thoroughly than run the risk of being misunderstood…
  • Don’t criticize others who communicate in a different way. It is a human tendency to think “my way is the best way.” In the area of communication, remember that different conversational styles are not bad. Different is simply different. Accept the differences and adjust when needed.

In marriage, the husband and wife must understand each other’s style of communication. While the husband may have no need to discuss his feelings about a specific situation, the wife may want to talk it out. A husband may want to confront conflict, while the wife may try to avoid it. When a husband comes home, he may sit in his recliner chair to relax, but his wife may want to talk about the day. Steps must be taken to improve communication between husband and wife without assigning blame. Be careful not to criticize the communicative style of your spouse or fail to meet your spouse’s communicative needs.

 What have you learned about communicating more effectively with men?

Photo: Svilen Milev

Beauty Supplements

Your daily dose of true beauty advice…

The Bible’s description of couples is rich. The woman accepts the lordship of her husband within the bounds that God has prescribed. But a woman also receives the honor of her husband. 1 Corinthians paints an interdependent circle. Christ is the head of the man, and the man is the image and glory of God. It is no shame to be given that title! And it is no shame for the woman to accept that “the woman is the glory of man.” The woman was created for the man, says Paul, and came from the man. Seems mighty sexist so far! Though even this statement is not really “sexist.” However, Paul goes on to say, a few verses later: “In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.”

A woman need not find it humiliating to accept the role of support, encouragement and cheerleader for her husband. All the while she is honoring Christ in this way, she is glorifying her man, who is glorifying Christ, who is glorifying God. God the Father lifts up Christ and glorifies Him. So also, a Christian husband lifts up his wife and glorifies her. Proverbs 31 says,

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

~Rebecca Jones in “Does Christianity Squash Women?

Photo: OBMonkey