“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house
shared with a quarrelsome wife.”
This post is filled with encouragement!
First, I want to encourage you to listen to the current series on Revive Our Hearts which features a conversation between Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Shaunti Feldhahn, and Barbara Rainey on several things that women need to understand about men in marriage. The series, entitled For Women Only, addresses such issues as a husband’s desire to be respected, provide for his family, and enjoy an intimate relationship with his wife. The topics discussed will be truly eye-opening for many women and could make a powerful impact on a wife’s ability to love her husband in the way God wired him to feel loved.
Here’s an excerpt:
Shaunti: I was speaking with a gentleman who has a ministry called Love and Respect, a marriage ministry that deals with exactly this. He pointed out that we have come to believe in our culture that love is to be unconditional, but respect must be earned.
In fact, when you look at the Scripture, that’s actually a completely unbiblical idea in marriage. But I think, for many of us, that’s really the assumption we’ve made: that respect needs to be earned, and we’ll respect our husbands when they deserve it. Really, what God is saying is that that would be the same thing as your husband saying, “Well, I’ll love you when you’re loveable.” It’s absolutely imperative that we learn what the Scripture says about that.
Nancy: I think a lot of times women do respect the men in their lives—they feel that respect, and sometimes may not realize how their words or their actions can convey the opposite.
Barbara: Yes, I really agree, Nancy. I think, as a culture of women, we’ve become critical. I think our culture has invited that critical spirit in us by telling us we need to think about our own needs and our own wants. So without even maybe realizing it, we’ve become critical of our husbands and the men in our lives that we work with, or that we’re around on a regular basis. And we may not even say anything, but we may just have a critical attitude toward them and sort of a condescending spirit. That’s not healthy in relationships. It’s not biblical. It’s not what God called us to do.
Download, listen to, or read the messages HERE.
Secondly, I also want to encourage you to check into the 30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge that Revive Our Hearts is promoting. Whether your influence in your husband’s life resembles a refreshing stream or a dripping faucet, I think all of us as wives can benefit from making a deliberate and sustained effort to better encourage our husbands.
You can sign up to receive emails that will offer you encouragement as you participate in the challenge. You can also purchase the 30 Days of Encouraging Your Husband Journal to provide you with inspiration.
What impact do you think your encouragement, or lack thereof, has on your husband’s life?