Beauty Supplements

Your daily dose of true beauty advice…

Loving our children is not always natural, nor is it always easy. But it is absolutely essential. Mothers must love their children. A mother’s constant love becomes the bedrock of security for her children. Before they leave home, there will be many times in their lives when it will seem to them that no one else loves them. Though they might wish for someone else’s love, their mother’s love will provide a North Star of security and hope in the midst of difficult days.

A favorite prayer (that I have prayed far more often than I ever imagined I would) goes like this:

Lord, help me to love my children as You do. Help me to see them as You do, to understand their needs as You do, to feel what they are feeling as You do. I cannot love my children as they need to be loved on my own. My children need Your love. I ask You to love my children through me.

I have prayed this prayer most often for the sake of my teenagers—that they might not ever experience even a hint of rejection, disdain, or indifference from their mother.

~Barbara Rainey in “A Mother’s Legacy

Photo: OBMonkey

Becoming a Truly Beautiful Bride

“An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.”

Proverbs 31:10

Here in North Carolina, hints of spring are already in the air and weddings are soon to follow. Over the next several months, my husband and I have at least six weddings where either we or our gifts will be making an appearance. 

I’ve always loved weddings and all of the romance and deep significance attached to them. Planning a wedding is rarely easy, yet all of the effort necessary for pulling off a successful one-day event is nothing when compared to the years of prayer and hard work required for building a successful marriage. Although many women make beautiful brides, far fewer make godly wives.

In her article Loving Your Man,” Barbara Rainey shares wise advice for helping the former become the latter…

I often give three pieces of advice to young women before their wedding day. But because these remain just as important as we go through marriage and because they are fashioned by the Scriptures and proven by experience, I share them with you today—at whatever stage you find yourself in marriage:

Believe in your husband. This is the most valuable gift Dennis says I’ve given him. You know your husband better than anyone. To see his faults and weaknesses and yet to believe in your husband’s God-given potential as a man and his leadership of your home does more than you can imagine for his spiritual growth

Be willing to confront your husband in love. Too many wives mistakenly believe they are following the biblical pattern of submission by ignoring or denying deficits in their husband’s life. But being submissive does not mean being silent. It simply means being wise and loving in how you approach him, treating him with kindness and respect. Say to your husband, “Could I talk to you about something?” Asking permission to broach a difficult subject may make it easier to get your message across. He is far less threatened and insecure this way.

Pursue intimacy with him on every level. Most men consider physical intimacy the most important part of marriage. I’ve come to learn that it is central to my husband’s manhood. It’s the way God made him, and it is good. So rather than resenting it, learn to appreciate this aspect of your marriage as God’s design. And be willing to learn and grow, becoming God’s woman for your man. It’s not always easy, but with God, nothing is impossible.

This is basic, biblically-rooted counsel which can help any Christian wife to honor God more fully within the ministry of marriage.

What advice for new brides would you add to the list? 

Photo: Benjamin Earwicker

Let Me Encourage You…

“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house
shared with a quarrelsome wife.”

Proverbs 21:9

This post is filled with encouragement!

First, I want to encourage you to listen to the current series on Revive Our Hearts which features a conversation between Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Shaunti Feldhahn, and Barbara Rainey on several things that women need to understand about men in marriage. The series, entitled For Women Only, addresses such issues as a husband’s desire to be respected, provide for his family, and enjoy an intimate relationship with his wife. The topics discussed will be truly eye-opening for many women and could make a powerful impact on a wife’s ability to love her husband in the way God wired him to feel loved.

Here’s an excerpt:

Shaunti: I was speaking with a gentleman who has a ministry called Love and Respect, a marriage ministry that deals with exactly this. He pointed out that we have come to believe in our culture that love is to be unconditional, but respect must be earned.

In fact, when you look at the Scripture, that’s actually a completely unbiblical idea in marriage. But I think, for many of us, that’s really the assumption we’ve made: that respect needs to be earned, and we’ll respect our husbands when they deserve it. Really, what God is saying is that that would be the same thing as your husband saying, “Well, I’ll love you when you’re loveable.” It’s absolutely imperative that we learn what the Scripture says about that.

Nancy: I think a lot of times women do respect the men in their lives—they feel that respect, and sometimes may not realize how their words or their actions can convey the opposite.

Barbara: Yes, I really agree, Nancy. I think, as a culture of women, we’ve become critical. I think our culture has invited that critical spirit in us by telling us we need to think about our own needs and our own wants. So without even maybe realizing it, we’ve become critical of our husbands and the men in our lives that we work with, or that we’re around on a regular basis. And we may not even say anything, but we may just have a critical attitude toward them and sort of a condescending spirit. That’s not healthy in relationships. It’s not biblical. It’s not what God called us to do.

Download, listen to, or read the messages HERE.

Secondly, I also want to encourage you to check into the 30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge that Revive Our Hearts is promoting. Whether your influence in your husband’s life resembles a refreshing stream or a dripping faucet, I think all of us as wives can benefit from making a deliberate and sustained effort to better encourage our husbands. 

You can sign up to receive emails that will offer you encouragement as you participate in the challenge. You can also purchase the 30 Days of Encouraging Your Husband Journal to provide you with inspiration.  

What impact do you think your encouragement, or lack thereof, has on your husband’s life?