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We may be tempted to verbally attack an unpleasant person in order to show that we are right. But even though she may indeed be much in the wrong, we are called to remember that being right is not the most important thing. As Christians, being loving is the most important thing. God cares that we have a holy heart and reflect his character in this world.

One day, the Righteous Judge will reveal to us the truth—for he is Truth. Every wrong will be righted. Between now and that day, God’s grace enables us to focus less on defending ourselves or our position and more on testifying to God’s mercy and greatness.

Being treated rudely is stressful. Often we do not know why God allows tension in our relationships. But one day it will all become clear and what will have mattered is this: Did we love God? Did we love others? Did we focus on being right, or did we walk in mercy, grace, and love?

~Tara Klena Barthel and Judy Dabler in Peacemaking Women

Photo: OBMonkey

Sites to See

It’s been quite some time since I’ve done a post like this, but I came across a few goodies online yesterday that I wanted to share with you. I think you’ll enjoy checking them out…

Dear Moms, Jesus Wants You to Chill Out — Stephen Altrogge reminds moms that they don’t have to sew their kids’ clothing or maintain organic gardens to be godly mothers. Our calling as moms is really very simple.

Jesus Understands Loneliness — Feeling totally out of place and misunderstood in the world? In an article for Desiring God, Jon Bloom points out that no one understands loneliness better than Jesus does.

Why Abortion Is the Most Important Issue This Election — Denny Burk writes a compelling argument for why Christians should keep the sanctity of human life at the forefront of their minds as they cast their votes on November 6. If God’s children won’t take a stand for the unborn, who will?

A Year of Biblical Womanhood: A Review — I have been greatly disturbed by Thomas Nelson’s decision to publish Rachel Held Evans’s book on “biblical” womanhood. As Trilla Newbell reviews the book for Desiring God, she points out some of the major flaws present in Evans’s perspective on the Word of God and womanhood.

Cancer—Joni’s Journey — October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. In a new episode of Joni and Friends, Joni Eareckson Tada talks about her recent battle against stage 3 breast cancer: “Within minutes Dr. Polan came into the room with Ken and me and announced that this was a suspicious-looking mass with irregular edges and she thought I should move right away to have it further examined. That was pretty scary.” As always, Joni’s steadfast faith in God in the midst of suffering is an incredible encouragement.

Image: Svilen Milev

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What memories are you making in your domestic domain? Each home has its own distinct environment. Does yours speak of the Creator of the universe?

Are peace and beauty and comfort and welcome to be found there? Is communication clear and kind, leaving room for criticism without allowing anyone to be crushed through cruel or angry outbursts? When hurt and resentment flare up, are there legitimate ways to express it while still keeping a guard over one’s mouth (Psalm 141:3)? Can people be honest without injuring one another unfairly (Ephesians 4:25-27)?

The fearlessly feminine woman sets an example for her household to follow. She knows there are some things that must never be said no matter what the level of frustration or anger. What memories are being formed in the environment of your home? Children should learn kindness, compassion, and self-control at home. When they don’t, schools and communities are forced to pick up the pieces of their cruel, selfish, and uncontrolled behavior…

Don’t make your home just another item on your “to do” list. God calls you to devote yourself to your home above any career. If you are too busy to manage it well, who will do it?

~Jani Ortlund in Fearlessly Feminine

Photo: OBMonkey

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If you have been blessed with children, you know that gratitude—like most every other character trait—doesn’t come naturally for them. But few things are more remarkable (and unusual) in children today than when they’re known for their thankful, contented spirit. It is a quality worth every ounce of effort we make to instill it in them.

And while teaching and instruction have their place in growing gratitude in our kids, the best teacher of all (of course) is our example. Do your children hear you thank your husband when he tackles a home repair job or gets the car lubed?

Do they hear you express gratitude to the Lord and to others for both little and big things throughout the day? Do you tell them how grateful you are for their dad, for your church and your pastor, for their teachers, for the house the Lord has provided for your family, for good health, and for God’s abundant blessings to your family?

Conversely, do they hear you grumble when your husband delays dinner by needing to see one extra client or when you get a flat tire or the sun doesn’t come out for a week?

Gratitude joins many other important virtues that are more effectively caught than taught. How contagious are you, especially at home?

~Nancy Leigh DeMoss in Choosing Gratitude

Photo: OBMonkey

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When women—sometimes well-meaning, earnest, truth seeking ones say “Get out of the house and do something creative, find something meaningful, something with more direct access to reality,” it is a dead giveaway that they have missed the deepest definition of creation, of meaning, of reality. And when you start seeing the world as opaque, that is, as an end in itself instead of as transparent, when you ignore the Other World where this one ultimately finds its meaning, of course housekeeping (and any other kind of work if you do it long enough) becomes tedious and empty…

The routines of housework and of mothering may be seen as a kind of death, and it is appropriate that they should be, for they offer the chance, day after day, to lay down one’s life for others. Then they are no longer routines. By being done with love and offered up to God with praise, they are thereby hallowed as the vessels of the tabernacle were hallowed—not because they were different from other vessels in quality or function, but because they were offered to God.

A mother’s part in sustaining the life of her children and making it pleasant and comfortable is no triviality. It calls for self-sacrifice and humility, but it is the route, as was the humiliation of Jesus, to glory.

~Elisabeth Elliot in “On Motherhood and Profanity“

Photo: OBMonkey

Prayer for a Prodigal

“And he told them a parable to the effect
that they ought always to pray and not lose heart…”

Luke 18:1

Each day when Joseph and I pray for Evangelle, we ask God to give her a heart that’s tender to His Word, that she will hear the Gospel, believe it, and one day put her trust fully in Christ as her Savior. It’s what we want for our daughter more than anything else, and I can hardly imagine what it would be like to see Evangelle grow up and turn her back on the truth.

Many Christian mothers know exactly what that pain is like. Angela Yuan was one such woman. When her son Christopher announced that he was a homosexual and cut himself off from her and her husband as he spiraled deeper and deeper into a dangerous lifestyle of drugs and promiscuity, Angela anxiously awaited the day when Christopher would come to repentance.

And while she waited, she prayed faithfully and fervently. Each morning when she woke up, Angela would go into her little prayer closet where she would spend hours studying the Scriptures and begging God to rescue Christopher.

The following is one of the prayers Angela wrote out to remind herself not to give up in the battle for her son’s soul… 

Lord, I will stand in the gap for Christopher.

I will stand until the victory is won—until Christopher’s heart changes.

I will stand in the gap every day, and there I will fervently pray.

And Lord, just one favor. Don’t let me waver.

If things get quite rough, which they may, I will never give up on that son,
nor will You.

Though the enemy seeks to destroy, I will not quit as I intercede,
though it may take years.

I give You my fears and tears as I trust every moment, I plead.

After seven long years, Angela watched in awe as the Lord answered her prayers and miraculously transformed Christopher’s soul. 

Have you been praying for the salvation of a loved one for what seems far too long? Don’t give up! Angela Yuan’s story provides a vivid reminder that God hears and answers prayer and no one is beyond his reach.

Hear more of Angela and Christopher Yuan’s testimony in their Revive Our Hearts interview “Out of a Far Country.”

Book Review: Beyond Bath Time by Erin Davis

I had every intention of posting this review last Saturday, and if I weren’t a mom, I’m sure I would have done it. My 14 month-old daughter, however, had other plans for me, plans that kept me revolving around her from sunup to sundown.

By the time she finally went to sleep that night, I still hadn’t produced the first word of a book review, and I was completely drained. Apart from keeping my daughter clean and fed, I felt I had accomplished nothing else of significance that day. 

Moms have lots of days like that—days that seem so filled with the menial and mundane you can’t help but wonder if they even matter at all.

In her book Beyond Bath Time: Embracing Motherhood as a Sacred Role, author Erin Davis encourages frazzled moms to remember that, yes! It all matters!

A Corrected View of Ministry

Last week in my review of the book Missional Mom, I expressed the disappointment I felt when I realized that the majority of the book appeared to equate “ministry” with activities that took place outside the home. As it turns out, Erin Davis once had a similar mindset.

Davis explains in Beyond Bath Time that she and her husband actually put off having children because they thought little ones would hinder their ability to do “ministry.” She later came to see such thinking as entirely misguided:

We had been lied to. It’s a lie that has been whispered into many ears.

More and more women are choosing childlessness…Motherhood is not revered as a sacred role. Career is king. The modern equation leaves little room for children.

I believe this is one of the greatest tragedies of our time.

Davis goes on in the rest of the book to explain why she believes Christian women should “stand up to the culture and reclaim motherhood as a high and holy calling.”

A Big Message in a Small Package

At just under 150 pages, Beyond Bath Time is a great size for busy moms. Davis looks at how motherhood has been damaged by the feminist movement, by lies that women commonly believe, and by the trend of choosing childlessness.

She then moves to focus on what the Scripture has to say about the role of motherhood and encourages women to see the eternal impact they can have as they daily nurture the souls of their children…

What you’re doing might seem small…But God multiplies your efforts. Your small tasks point to a very big God if you are determined to do it all for His glory. 

Just as our definitions of blessing and burden have gotten jumbled, so have our concepts of big and small stuff for the kingdom. If a woman surrendered her life to share Bible stories with children in unreached people groups overseas, we would consider that big, and rightfully so.

But your children are also an unreached people group. They don’t come into the world with a knowledge and heart for God. It’s your job to teach them, and it’s a big job.

That’s a message we need to hear far more frequently within the church today, and I appreciate Erin Davis for sharing it.

A Wealth of Encouragement for Weary Moms

Whether you’re a brand new mom or one with years of experience, I believe you’ll find valuable encouragement in this little book on how to make your mothering count for the Kingdom of God.

Another plus is that Beyond Bath Time is one of the first books to carry the new True Woman publishing imprint, which means that the content has been approved by Revive Our Hearts and The True Woman Movement. If you know anything about the biblically-grounded nature of those ministries, then you’ll understand why that’s a very good thing.  

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through a blogger review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 

Book Review: Missional Mom by Helen Lee

This week, I hope to share reviews of two books I’ve read recently which I believe contain very different ideas about the ministry of motherhood. I hope you’ll benefit from hearing about them. Here’s the first… 

Missional Mom: Living with Purpose at Home & in the World

When I first saw the cover of Missional Mom by Helen Lee, I was truly excited about having the chance to read the entire book. Based on the book’s title, subtitle, and back cover, I had the impression that Missional Mom would call attention to the vital role that motherhood plays in changing the world for Christ. What I was surprised to find, however, is that the book actually focused very little on the ministry of motherhood at all.

What Is a Missional Mom?

In the introduction, Helen Lee discusses the feelings of frustration, purposelessness, and despair that many women seem to experience once they have children. Lee set off to discover if missional living was the missing key for these moms. She spent the next year searching out women she calls “missional moms” and concluded that “Ultimately, mothers who choose a missional lifestyle have found the secret to the conundrum many mothers experience: that living missionally brings a profound sense of heavenly affirmation and peace.”

Lee goes on in the rest of the book to explain the distinctives of missional moms: they join with God in His mission to redeem lost humanity by living counterculturally, they make evangelism part of their everyday life, and they educate themselves and then seek to meet the needs of people close to home and around the world.

What I Enjoyed

Lee is incredibly passionate about encouraging women to take seriously their primary calling to love and know God by living in obedience to the Great Commission. She challenges women to resist cultural pressures that would motivate them to isolate themselves and their children in search of security, bow to materialism in search of comfort, or to idolize their children’s achievement and success in search of happiness. What Lee encourages moms to do instead is to sacrifice and push themselves outside of their comfort zones in order to advance God’s mission of redeeming the lost.

As you read Missional Mom, you simply can’t ignore Lee’s love for the Lord and those in need. Her enthusiasm and desire to honor the Great Commandment and Great Commission are obvious throughout the book, and I personally found myself challenged to evaluate my own life and seek more opportunities to help the hurting and reach the lost with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

What’s Missing

In spite of the many good things said in Missional Mom, my greatest concern about the book, as I referred to earlier, is what the book doesn’t say about motherhood. Although moms are mentioned on nearly every page, Lee says relatively little about the ministry of motherhood itself and seems to put the focus of missional living on those outside of the home.

Even in the eighth chapter “The Missional Mom Creates Missional Families,” Lee still neglects to address what the Bible has to say about motherhood or parenting. She recommends resisting materialism and showing generosity and hospitality as methods of creating a missional family. These are good things, of course, but when Lee suggested that moms discuss with their children fair trade coffee, global warming, and how wasting energy affects polar bears, I failed to see how these topics related to the Gospel and missional living.

What the Scripture Teaches

Unfortunately, the major impression I’m concerned readers will take away from Missional Mom is that a mother’s ministry to people outside her home is more important and more in line with the Great Commission than is her ministry to her husband and children. Biblically speaking, this is simply not the case. Paul had not forgotten the Great Commission when he instructed older women to teach younger women “to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands” (Titus 2:4-5). In fact, he explained that moms should live this way so that God’s Word would not be dishonored (2:5).

When a woman fears the Lord, loves her husband and children, “looks well to the ways of her household” (Prov. 31:27), partners with her husband to diligently teach their children God’s commandments (Deut. 6:7) and to train them in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4), she is living missionally. A woman’s family is her primary mission field and the work she does to make disciples in her own home is no less important than the work done by a missionary on a foreign field.

These are vital points that I believe are missing in Lee’s approach to missional motherhood. You simply cannot accurately portray Christian motherhood without first explaining what God has clearly revealed in His Word regarding the topic.

In Conclusion

I appreciate Helen Lee’s desire to inspire moms to share God’s heart for the lost and needy and take the Great Commission seriously. As moms who have children living at home, we must ensure that we don’t allow our primary mission field to become our only mission field, and Missional Mom contains some helpful advice on how to avoid that error by creatively responding to the needs of the world around us.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through a blogger review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 

What a Wednesday!

Every week I think, “Ok, this will be the week when I can finally get back to doing regular blog posts.” Some of you may remember that Precious Adornment wasn’t originally an adoption blog, and I want to return to sharing biblical encouragement that will help inspire Christian women to live passionately for their Savior (Don’t worry though; I’ll still keep you up to date on Evangelle’s life!). But somehow in spite of my good intentions, life keeps getting in the way. 

I really thought this would be the week. I had plans to post Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, but Wednesday did everything it could to get in my way. Even though I’m late in posting this, I will not allow Wednesday’s plot against me to succeed.

The Unwelcome Relapse

Remember how I told you on Tuesday that I was recovering from bronchitis? Well, I wrote that post on Monday night, but by Tuesday afternoon I realized that I was definitely feeling worse again. The congestion and heaviness in my lungs was increasing, so I returned to see a doctor after being advised by friends that the Z-pac I’d taken probably hadn’t finished the job.

I had just returned home with a new round of stronger antibiotics for treating bronchitis when one of the friends we’d made in Ethiopia alerted me to a new concern—whooping cough. Yikes! After a trip to Ethiopia a couple years ago, she said she eventually learned that she’d brought home more than a new child; a stubborn case of “bronchitis” was later revealed to be whooping cough.

So on Wednesday, I made yet another trip to see a doctor, this time to make sure I wasn’t about to cause an outbreak of infectious disease in Western North Carolina. Joseph was out of town, so Evangelle tagged along with me. Our doctor, who is quite the character, informed me that he had the perfect boyfriend lined up for my daughter, an 11-month old Nigerian boy who was also his patient. I wasn’t sure he’d understand, so I didn’t bother to tell the doc that Evangelle has already kissed dating goodbye.

Praise the Lord, the doctor ruled out whooping cough, but said my lungs didn’t sound good. He prescribed an inhaler, told me to take the new antibiotics, and to be sure to take seriously my need for rest. I’m not sure if he’d forgotten I had a one-year old child in my arms when he mentioned that last point.

The Unexpected Eruption

I had a couple more errands to run before returning home, but since our little outing had already gobbled up Evangelle’s afternoon nap time, I decided to save the grocery shopping for another trip. By now it was nearly 5 o’clock, and I was getting hungry…just one more stop at a Chinese restaurant. Some take-out would surely simplify the remainder of my evening. Well, that’s what I thought anyway. 

Evangelle and I sat down on a bench in the entryway of the restaurant to wait for my meal, and that’s when Wednesday really got interesting. My little munchkin was sitting on my lap, drinking some water, and playing happily, when suddenly, without warning, Mt. Evangelle began to erupt. The poor girl lost every last bit of her lunch, and there we sat, both of us, with more food than I thought her little belly could even contain splattered all over our clothing, the seat, and floor.

The Unbelievable Mess

I was stunned and immobilized by the mess, so I called to request help from the woman who had taken my order. What a sweet lady she was! She brought paper towels and a trash can and even held Evangelle for me so I could attempt to clean her up without having to make more of a disaster by moving from where I sat covered in sweet potato puree. 

After 10 minutes and half a roll of paper towels later, I was apologizing my way out of the restaurant with a half-naked child in my arms, half of her clothing in a plastic bag, and the not-so-simple take-out in another bag.

Needless to say, by the time we made it home, Evangelle and I were both exhausted. After seeing that she had a normal temperature, I wanted to feed her and then lay her down closer to her actual bedtime, but her crying made it clear that the bottle and bed couldn’t wait. She slept from 6 p.m. last night until 8 a.m. this morning and awoke happy, smiley, and apparently perfectly healthy.

The Undeserved Blessings

Wednesday certainly was a doozy of a day, but I can’t help but be grateful for God’s goodness through it all. The fact that I have access to doctors and medicine in the midst of sickness, the fact that I’ve been given the opportunity to experience all the gory details of motherhood, and the fact that I’m alive and able to breathe (congested as my lungs may be) for another day are all gifts from God’s hand. Even in the wake of a wild Wednesday or any other day of the week, He is still worthy of our praise! 

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Teenagers! Ugh!” Have you heard someone say something like this? I have. But the Proverbs 31 mother “opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness” (verse 26).

We communicate volumes about our homes and our hearts every time we broadcast harmful criticism or attitudes about our children. My friend Betty taught me a lesson I’ll never forget. She’d say, “Elizabeth, how old are the girls now?” When I answered, “Nine and ten,” she’d exclaim, “Oh I remember when my boys were nine and ten. What wonderful years!”

As the years rolled by and my girls’ ages advanced, Betty’s joy and enthusiasm was the same. She loved her kids, and she loved being a mom. What an encouragement to me! Betty was a mother whose heart was filled with motherly affection. Her heart was positive about God’s job assignment for her and her lips were respectfully quiet about any difficulties.

As Titus 2:4 [says], “Love your children.”

~Elizabeth George in “Love Your Children“

Photo: OBMonkey

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Loving our children is not always natural, nor is it always easy. But it is absolutely essential. Mothers must love their children. A mother’s constant love becomes the bedrock of security for her children. Before they leave home, there will be many times in their lives when it will seem to them that no one else loves them. Though they might wish for someone else’s love, their mother’s love will provide a North Star of security and hope in the midst of difficult days.

A favorite prayer (that I have prayed far more often than I ever imagined I would) goes like this:

Lord, help me to love my children as You do. Help me to see them as You do, to understand their needs as You do, to feel what they are feeling as You do. I cannot love my children as they need to be loved on my own. My children need Your love. I ask You to love my children through me.

I have prayed this prayer most often for the sake of my teenagers—that they might not ever experience even a hint of rejection, disdain, or indifference from their mother.

~Barbara Rainey in “A Mother’s Legacy“

Photo: OBMonkey

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Before I was a Christian I focused my time and energy on pursuing a counseling license to help other families. Unfortunately, I was neglecting my own. I was happy being my own woman and pursuing my own dreams. But one night I was invited to a women’s Bible study. There I heard comments about “the joy of loving my children,” “the privilege of motherhood,” and the “awesome responsibility” of raising children for God. I discovered that one of my God-given roles was to train and nurture my kids.

I praise God He opened my eyes to what it means to be a wise and loving mom—a mom after God’s own heart! If you’ve got kids, there’s no greater ministry than that of being a mother. As Titus 2:4 exhorts, moms are to “love their children.”

~Elizabeth George in “Being a Wise Mom“

Photo: OBMonkey

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Do your kids see one side of you at church…and another side at home?

Parents don’t usually realize how much their example affects their children. Kids know what their parents’ standards are.

They notice when their parents use language at home they’d never say in public. They notice when their parents belittle each other. They know what kinds of videos parents rent and what they laugh at on TV.

If your kids grow up loving the world more than God, if they don’t have a hunger for spiritual things, will it be any surprise? Will you be prepared to give an account for the way your life influenced them?

As you make choices today, would you remember that your heart for holiness is shaping the character of the next generation?

~Nancy Leigh DeMoss in “An Example of Holiness“

Photo: OBMonkey

Help Melissa Be a Good Mommy

You already know I’m excited about bringing Evangelle home. Big-time excited. But, I have to admit, I’m also a little bit nervous.

In a few short weeks (Lord willing), Evangelle will become the major focus of my ministry efforts. She’ll be 9 months old when she arrives home and will be facing a world of adjustments—new food, new language, new people, new side of the globe, etc., etc. I’m truly grateful that I have the opportunity to stay at home and be a full-time mommy to Evangelle during this crucial time of transition. She’s going to need all of the love and attention that she can get, and I’m more than willing to provide it. 

But here’s where the nervous part comes in. I’ve never been a mommy before!

Of course, I’ve been reading and planning, but still, I have a lot to learn. So, I was thinking… Maybe you can help me!

I’ll bet you know something that I should know about being a mom, and I’m hoping you’ll be kind enough to share your wisdom with me. Pretty please?

What do you wish someone would have told you before you had children? What practical tips, tricks, habits have made a difference in your home? Have you learned any spiritual lessons that you now believe are vital to motherhood? 

Big or little, simple or profound—whatever advice you have to share, I’m ready to take notes!

Image: Allie Hylton

The Most Important Thing You’ll Ever Teach Your Children

 ”I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.”

Psalm 119:11

The vast majority of Bible passages in my memory were inscribed there during my childhood. As we grew, my parents made sure that my brother, sister, and I were all regularly involved in memorizing God’s Word, and I’m so grateful that they did. 

When I was young, my mind was like soft clay. After only minutes of repetition, Scripture was easily impressed upon my memory and retained for years to come. In the last few years, however, I’ve found that my gray matter has hardened considerably. Memorizing Scripture now requires a bit of hammering and chiseling. If I’d not begun hiding God’s Word away when I was child, my knowledge of Scripture at this point in my life would be quite deficient.

If you have little ones, can I encourage you to make the memorization of Scripture a normal part of your daily routine? If there’s one thing most children can do with ease, it’s to memorize information. And if there’s one thing they should be memorizing, it’s the Word of God. It alone has the power to transform their hearts and guide them in the paths of righteousness. Even though memorization may not be as easy for you as it is for your children, you’ll also be blessed as you continue saturating your own heart in the truths of Scripture. 

My sister Niki is doing an amazing job of raising my niece Addison to know and love the Lord through His Word. It thrills my heart to see Addison’s knowledge of Scripture expanding at such a young age… 

Take a few minutes each day to memorize Scripture with your children. I guarantee you; it will be time well spent!

 

Photo: abcdz2000